formspring.me Volume I

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? European.

According to Wikipedia the Barn Swallow,

It is not a particularly fast flier, with a speed estimated at about 11 m/s, up to 20 m/s and a wing beat rate of approximately 5, up to 7–9 times each second

(Side note: let's try to keep the questions actual, and not clumsy references to 35 year old movies.)

How is it that you prefer Nutty Bars over Pearson's Nut Rolls? Isn't that kind of anti-Minnesotan of you?

OH MY GOD. They are totally not the same thing. Not even close. I love a Pearson's Nut Roll. I think you reveal your ignorance of delicious snacktime solutions by confusing these two delicious yet TOTALLY DISTINCT items.

Which beard/mustache/facial-hair style is your favorite?

This question was asked by Brianne, and is quite excellent. For wearing, my favorite facial hair style is currently a standard full beard, trimmed to Emily's specifications. In the past I have enjoyed pre-war German-style mutton chops (before it was cool) and the Abe Lincoln chin strap. In the future, I would like to go as Martin Van Buren for Halloween, and the Chester A Arthur beard is also hilarious and wonderful (which means I might try it for a day).

What is the best calculator pound for pound?

I would turn to one of these British calculators for calculating pounds.

what day is it?

Today is Wednesday, January 27. Today is the birthday of William Randolph Hearst, Zephram Cochran himself James Cromwell, Kieth Olbermann, and the death day of William Nolde, the last man to die in the Vietnam War. It is also Hump Day, six days after my anniversary with Emily, and 267 days until my birthday.

War elephant or tactical rhinoceros?

Rhinos are built for war: they are heavily armored, they have those massive horns and a strong neck. They're also fast: they can run at 25 miles per hour, which apparently elephants can do too. But honestly, a rhino is going to be able to turn much faster. In battle, I'll take the rhino any day.