formspring.me Volume I

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? European.

According to Wikipedia the Barn Swallow,

It is not a particularly fast flier, with a speed estimated at about 11 m/s, up to 20 m/s and a wing beat rate of approximately 5, up to 7–9 times each second

(Side note: let's try to keep the questions actual, and not clumsy references to 35 year old movies.)

How is it that you prefer Nutty Bars over Pearson's Nut Rolls? Isn't that kind of anti-Minnesotan of you?

OH MY GOD. They are totally not the same thing. Not even close. I love a Pearson's Nut Roll. I think you reveal your ignorance of delicious snacktime solutions by confusing these two delicious yet TOTALLY DISTINCT items.

Which beard/mustache/facial-hair style is your favorite?

This question was asked by Brianne, and is quite excellent. For wearing, my favorite facial hair style is currently a standard full beard, trimmed to Emily's specifications. In the past I have enjoyed pre-war German-style mutton chops (before it was cool) and the Abe Lincoln chin strap. In the future, I would like to go as Martin Van Buren for Halloween, and the Chester A Arthur beard is also hilarious and wonderful (which means I might try it for a day).

What is the best calculator pound for pound?

I would turn to one of these British calculators for calculating pounds.

what day is it?

Today is Wednesday, January 27. Today is the birthday of William Randolph Hearst, Zephram Cochran himself James Cromwell, Kieth Olbermann, and the death day of William Nolde, the last man to die in the Vietnam War. It is also Hump Day, six days after my anniversary with Emily, and 267 days until my birthday.

War elephant or tactical rhinoceros?

Rhinos are built for war: they are heavily armored, they have those massive horns and a strong neck. They're also fast: they can run at 25 miles per hour, which apparently elephants can do too. But honestly, a rhino is going to be able to turn much faster. In battle, I'll take the rhino any day.

Dream Workplace

Sort of in response to Conner and then Emily's posts about what sort of bar they'd like to operate, and in light of this morning's commute, I would like to share some of my thoughts about the kind of office I'd run if it were up to me.

Armchairs. I always find I do my best work when I'm sitting in one of my armchairs. I would like to bring this into my work environment.

Bigass windows. I love to look out a window, and that enjoyment is increased with the size of the window. Also, natural light is a natural source of happiness and relaxation. Natural light is important.

Full kitchen. This is for breakfast. You can't buy a decent breakfast for less than $10, and I'm not made of money. (Alternately, since the idea is that perhaps I am the proprietor of this office, I didn't get rich by spending $10 on breakfast.) I will roll into the office 30 minutes early and cook biscuits and gravy for myself and all my coworkers using the full kitchen.

Liquor at 3 pm. Let's not be prudes, here. Sometimes I work better when I have an ounce or two of Scotch in me. Sometimes productivity rises midway into a Guinness. And hey! Why not do like the Red Stag does and put a shot or two of espresso in that Guinness? Relaxing and stimulating. This is what we all need at 3 pm, and it's the prudes and jerks of the world who prevent us from having it.

Downtown. My plan is to stay in the Twin Cities, and the public transit system in the area is exceedingly downtown-centric. So, my office will be directly at or within three blocks of most major bus lines, which my house will also be at or within three blocks of.

QUICK!

Oh no! The president has been kidnapped by ALIENS! They are holding him hostage and they will only let him go when you tell them which is the best place to get pizza in Minneapolis: Pizza Lucé or Punch Pizza!

And you have to answer! THE PRESIDENT'S LIFE IS AT STAKE!

Hypothetical Fight of the Day: Snake Versus Spider

Inquiring minds want to know! Who would win in an ALL OUT BATTLE BETWEEN...

SNAKE

and

SPIDER

Hypothetical Supergroup

I'm a big fan of the superest of the Supergroups, the Traveling Wilburys. For those of you not in the know, the Traveling Wilburys were Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, George Harrison, Roy Orbison, and Jeff Lynne (some dude from ELO. I don't know. I've never heard of him either). They made exceptional music in which ever style they decided to grace with their attention. Plus, they had a great sense of humor: they released two albums, Traveling Wilburys Volume 1 and Traveling Wilburys Volume 3. There was no Volume 2. Doesn't that drive you a little nuts? I love it.

I was recently listening to Under Pressure by David Bowie and Queen, and I thought "You know what, David Bowie and Freddie Mercury should have formed a Supergroup." They would have been an excellent core. Here is who I think should have been in the group:

David Bowie

Freddie Mercury

Robert Plant

Meat Loaf

Bob Seger (because you need one guy no one cares about and his voice would work well in this mix)

This could have been a Supergroup to rival the Traveling Wilburys. They could have had street rumbles and nobody would know who would win.

Which just leaves one thing: they need a name. What is your idea?

Who would you take out? Who would you put in?

Hypothetical Battle of the Week: LeVar vs. LeVar

I figure every good blog has something they do on a regular basis. So, in an effort to be a good blog, I present to you this week's Hypothetical Battle:

Star Trek LeVar Burton

VERSUS

Reading Rainbow LeVar Burton

Here are the rules:

In the comments section, explain who wins in a fight and why. That means show your work! You should also define what makes "victory." For example, is victory the person who can get the others to read the most books? Or is it a more traditional idea of who kills the other first? You decide! And say how it happens.

(PS: Yes, I did do this same hypothetical fight in my now-defunct LiveJournal about three years ago.)

(And also my friend Sam came up with the idea)