I don’t understand why a woman can use a purse to hold her keys, her wallet, her cell phone, a box of mints, a book, an iPod, a Nintendo DSi, a couple pens, and various papers, while a man must use pockets and look like he has Lumpy Legs.
I know I’m going to catch a lot of flak for this, because “A small bag carried on the shoulder? WOMEN ONLY, MISTER!” And as a man, I have some options for carrying things. But, much like the choice between a basket and a shopping cart at the grocery store, my options, as a man, are either comically tiny or comically massive.
- Pockets. Barely and room and give you Lumpy Legs.
- Cargo pants. When I was in 9th grade I wore cargo pants. This was not for fashion, but for utility: I used the hell out of those massive pockets. I put cargo in them. But, that is a thing for young boys. I am a Man now, and cargo pants would be unseemly; it was long ago time to put aside childish things. Also they give you Lumpy Legs.
- Messenger bag. I’ve been told I can carry a messenger bag, but the only messenger bags I can find are still comparably huge. I don’t need to fish in the bottom of an 18-inch deep satchel when I could have a 6-, 8-, or 10-inch-deep purse.
So maybe I can carry a purse. Maybe it just needs to be stuffed full of hundos.
You're such a girl.
ReplyDeleteOne's lips can also be pursed, but I don't suspect that's what you're looking for. How about a male European carryall a la Seinfeld?
ReplyDeleteDude, I carry a satchel everywhere I go. It's a manly canvas black bag with a flip-over cover, and it's about 10 inches deep. It's big enough to hold a notebook, a mini-umbrella, my kindle, my earbuds, and my nintendo DS (plus my laptop from work if I cram it in there), but small enough that it's easily carried around and not inconvenient.
ReplyDeleteThe only guff I've ever gotten for wearing it was in high school... and I ignored those people anyway.
I highly recommend you quit complaining and look a little harder.
Are there any alternatives that you could get away with? Maybe something that looks like a camera bag? Or perhaps you could convert an old awesome metal lunch box into a messenger bag of sorts? See: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=mt&listing_id=27418480
ReplyDelete